Thursday, July 19, 2012

Sebastian, the Great Swami?

Hi all. Sebastian here. I thought I would tell you about the part-time job I am applying for. This ad in the classified section of the newspaper caught my eye.

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It didn’t take me but a second to realize that it was the perfect job for me. I am very good at paw/palm reading, but I thought I should brush up a little before I went for the interview.

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The only humans around here that I could practice on are you-know-who and you-know-him. Even though I had to pull her away from cutting out a new bear friend, she agreed and asked me if I could also paint her nails while I was at it. I had to tell her that wasn’t part of the job description. Paint her nails! Humph!

Here I am taking a close look at all the lines. First there’s the heart line. “Uh-huh. I see” I said. “What does that mean?” she asked. “Sh-h-h” I replied, “I’m in the middle here.”

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Next, I read her life line. “Yes, m-m-m-m.” I muttered. “Sebastian, what are you seeing?” she demanded. I guess I had to tell her. This is what I saw. She had a somewhat questionable life line. I said her life would be very short unless she kept a big stash of cookies in the cupboard. I also could see she had a very big heart which meant she was very content to have cookies and milk for dinner.

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I couldn’t really tell if she was pleased with the reading. She walked away mumbling something about 5 minutes of her life gone or some such thing. I don’t know where she got that from. I wasn’t really specific about how much time she had left.

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“Next!” I called out and in came You-know-him. “Ah-ha! Very in-ter-rest-ing.”

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I could tell that he had a very long life ahead of him if he shared his evening snacks with a very cute little bear that resides in his house.

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Then something startled me a bit. I took a close look. “Oh, the horror!” I exclaimed.

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Of course I had alarmed him. I had to explain myself immediately. “I see you have been in the kitchen and come back empty handed! And yet, I smell . . . I smell . . . chocolate! This you must fix at once or a dire future is in store for your love life. Go! Go! At once and repair yourself to the kitchen and return with chocolate!” He walked away saying something about ‘definitely, your bear’ whatever that means.

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As for the fortune teller part of the job, I need a few more subjects to practice on. Maybe you can help. If you have a question about your future, you could leave it in a comment for me and I will do my best to tell your fortune. I’ll be here all weekend and I am happy to impart my wisdom.

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sebastian

19 comments:

  1. Oh, Great Swami Sebastian,

    Will it ever stop raining here? And is Prudence missing me as much as I am missing her? Please tell me, Great Swami.

    Hugs ♥
    Prudence's Mom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Prudence's Mom,

      I can say for almost sure that it will stop raining. It has stopped raining here for so long that we've gotten to the place where we wish it would start raining again. It you can, you could send your rain to the Midwest. I hear the cows out there would like it.

      Also, I will tell you that Prudence misses you to a certain degree - about 350° in the over where the cookies are baked.

      And one for free - if it doesn't stop raining soon, you have many friends who would be happy to come and dance with you in it.

      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
  2. Dear Sebastian, you are just the fortune teller that I want. Can you please tell me if Wilbur is OK at camp.I worry about him a lot because I miss him.
    Hugs Granny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi There Granny Dear,

      The Great Swami Sebastian here (that's me) and I'm thinking...thinking...thinking... It's becoming clearer. I see - I see - I see Wilbur. Yes, I see Wilbur and he's giggling. I think he's holding something - perhaps a frog or maybe a green crayon. I'm not sure.

      And since I am supposed to tell the future, I will tell you that Wilbur will be fine and will be sending you a note or some photos very soon.

      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
  3. Oops, almost forgot.

    Dearest Swami,

    I have sent my payment for the pawreading - a box of chocolates and a box of chocolate chip cookies. You can share with "you-know-who" and "you-know-him" or NOT. o:

    More hugs....
    Prudence's Mom ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Prudence's Mom,

      I just knew it was you again! See how well I can tell the future? Payment is not necessary but I can tell you that the cookies will go to a good cause - my rumbly tumbly.

      And I know good things will come your way too!

      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
  4. Oh, Great Salami Sebastian,

    Will we be able to go to summer camp next year? Gee, for some reason now we're hungry for a sandwich. Wonder why? "Wonder" - yeah, on WonderBread. (o:

    Hugs
    LuLu & Flora

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lulu & Flora,

      I love the way you have addressed me. Very good on you two. I foresee wonderful things in your future. I think you will be able to go to camp - one way or another - even if it means stowing away in the duffel bag.

      I also foresee a sandwich in your future. In fact, I might even see one in my future!

      Yours truly,
      The Great Salami Sebastian

      Delete
  5. Well for a bear that hangs out in as many palms as you do, we think you *must* be an expert.

    We would like to know what the chances are of LT finishing the new Clan member sometime soon, he's been worryingly hanging around as a piece of mohair and ultrasuede for a week now...

    Hugs

    Jack and The Clan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Jack and The Clan,

      I don't know if I am an expert but I trust your assessment of the situation.

      As for LT finishing the new Clan member - I see, I see, yes I see a new little one being finished this week. Unless I've gotten my wires crossed, I believe you will be meeting a new friend very very soon.

      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
  6. Dear Swami Sebastian,
    I have a another grandson due to be born in November, do you think you could tell me if he likes bears?
    Hugs Gramma Jeanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Gramma Jeanne,

      I have given your question much thought and have channeled all my efforts to answering your question with all due gravity. And this is what I see - many bears are like grandmas. They are soft, squishy, cuddly, loveable, sweet and patient. What's not to like? So I believe in all honesty that your new grandson will love love love bears.

      Congratulations to the family on behalf of all the bearbits blog bears!

      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
  7. Dear Sebastian (swami extraordinaire), Do you think I shall ever get to meet you?I have loved you from afar....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello my dear,

      You have asked The Great Swami a very important question. I see a very exciting future for you. With your paintbrushes, paints, and all that talent, I believe that nothing will keep you from your true love. If I were you, I think I would take a bit from Mary Poppins and create your perfect world on a sidewalk in chalk and then...and then...and then - jump in and take a ride!

      Yours very truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
    2. Thank you oh great one. I am off to get some chalk.....

      Delete
  8. Dear Great Swami Sebastian,

    It has been weeks if not months since my Creative Muse left me, do you know if she will ever return? I miss her.

    Also Matilda keeps tapping me saying "Don't forget to tell Sebastian I said Bubbles." Bubbles? "He'll know." hummm, perhaps a code word of some sort.........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Bonnie,

      Ah the Creative Muse. I am very familiar with her habits. To answer your question, yes! She will return. You mustn't look for her but keep busy and she'll come back lickety split! I see that she will come back on the 9:00 train but when she'll actually arrive at your house since she tends to meander I'm not able to say. Keep the faith!

      And tell Matilda I laughed out loud at that one. Tell her I said "Poodles!"

      Take care my dear -
      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete
  9. Om, isn't that what you should say? That's what they were saying when we were in Inja in April. I didn't see any bear swamis when I was there, so maybe you'll corner the market.

    I hope all your training has worked out well and you're getting lots of cookies and milk from the gullible tumans. I'm not a great cookie person, I prefer jammy things and hunny. That way you can get your paws in and there's always plenty to keep you going for hours. Can you read my paw from afar? I think I'd better lick the hunny off it first though.

    Hugs,
    Jock

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Alan,

      Yes, I do believe you are correct on the Om thing but I didn't want to get confused with electricity and all that stuff. Just being safe.

      And thanks for the reminder - I'm not strictly cookies and milk though I love them. I like the other stuff too. Good idea on the hunny thing and the duration of it. Well done. Might borrow that idea from you when I get my hands on a jar.

      I'm sure I could read your paw but it might take a very very long time. I see even without your paw that you will have many adventures. Hang on tight!

      Yours truly,
      The Great Swami Sebastian

      Delete

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